She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
