don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
