She is in my trunk
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
