So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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