I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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