the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
