My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
