whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
