Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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