woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i will never coherently bang her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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