Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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