Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
