I didn't shave. On purpose
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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