is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
