i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
