i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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