one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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