new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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