its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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