distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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