Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Buhtt sex?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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