I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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