This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
