If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
