when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
