Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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