her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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