Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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