wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
