I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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