apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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