I'm gonna have a badass scar
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
