We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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