During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
