The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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