I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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