the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found puke in my bra..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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