She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
