dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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