i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i have two assholes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
