I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
