i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
