tell your sister to shave her snatch
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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