Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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