how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
