feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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