I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
