It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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