You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize