All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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