But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
