You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
