Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
