so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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