I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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