There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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