there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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