doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
