come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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