final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize