i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
