i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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