Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
